We can liken the invention of the chicken nugget keychain to that of newton’s discovery of gravity, a sleeping genius with eyes closed and mind shut to the world wakes up to a jolt! In this case, a million-dollar idea that will cast your family forward on the social ladder and maintain your legacy for generations to come… they rush out of bed to begin designing and building what ultimately becomes this beautiful keychain.

From concept to product is the next step, hours, nay, months spent finding the perfect nugget to mold its shape, paints tested, ideas scrapped, rebuilds, new tests and viola! We have the chicken nugget keychain that we have today, a perfect product for children and adults alike, crafted with polyvinyl chloride ensuring that unlike real nuggets these will truly stand the test of time!

And as an added bonus, no chickens were harmed in the creation of this product.

Move over sleeping bags, swaddling up like a big burrito is back in town… did it ever really leave town?

Now, it’s hard not to imagine that every time someone is rolling up their burrito, squeezing in those few evasive beans and rice they haven’t imagined themselves getting rolled up too. What a nice feeling it would be to be all cozied up amongst the beautiful and homely smell of a fresh tortilla ready to be gobbled, now you can realize that dream.

For maximum effect, and if we’re honest, for those who are going for the full burrito effect you’re going to need to pop your blanket tortilla into a warm place (the clothes dryer) or give it a quick go-over with a clothing iron, since ironically, the tortilla iron would not work at all here, then quickly throw onto the bed and roll up, leaving a little room for your head to pop out and contemplate your current state of pure bliss.

This book combines three of the world’s biggest loves, those being:

1. Animals.

Everyone loves a dog or a cat, or a horse. Some people are goat people & some people are cow people, and some people love Elephants. Even rats and mice are loved by some.

2. Coloring.

Coloring between the lines is something we all try somewhere in our lives, you’ll find it not for everyone, and some people are more abstract, but either way, it’s a lesson we all learn

3. Farting.

I’m not sure I need to say much here, aside from asking the big question: What color are farts?

Another item that falls under the ever-popular “just add water” category, seems to have no shortage of interesting and extremely useful items. That being said though, these instant underpants will provide you with an instant conundrum… if I’ve wet my underpants, what use are instant underpants if they too have to be wet.

Well, unlike most of life’s conundrums, I’ll give you the answer to this one, it’s really simple. Wet (with water) underpants are better than wet (with something that’s not water) or dirty underpants. Or more importantly, wet underpants are better than no underpants at all. Especially in winter.

Now the final important feature here is that these are “one size fits most” which itself seems like it can’t quite be true, but the only real way to know if these will get you out of a tight situation is to grab a couple and run a safe test in the warm confinements of your own home.

In terms of practicality, especially on this website, these lie-down glasses may actually be one of the few useful items, and also one of the most self explanatory… I mean, do I really need to give much of a description here?

Via the mystical and ancient power of mirrors and reflection these glasses will give you a tilted view of your feet, or if you are lying down, then your regular surroundings, so whether you’re completely in love with your feet, or want to read/watch tv, watch out the window, or just plain watch the clock then these will do the trick.

The only real curse here is that there’s more or less nothing you’ll be able to do to look cool while you’ve got these nifty specs on your eyes… but that hasn’t stopped me, and certainly shouldn’t stop you.

While it seems like the world of Sequin Pillows is richer than that of beanie babies or baseball cards, there is one pillow that rises above the rest, the holo Charizard of the lot, and that my friends, is the Nicolas Cage Sequin Pillow.

This Pillow (case only) is the true celebration of Nic’s colorful career, and even if you’re not feeling particularly Cage’y with a wipe of your hand you can brush off the face and be straight down to a beautiful sparkling red. That said, within minutes you’ll be missing the beautiful face, and kapow, another quick wipe of your hand, and your room will be filled again with the warmth that is Nic’s face.

It’s time to break out the sewing machine and remove those pesky pockets from literally all your clothes, because from now on when it comes to carrying things, this realistic beer-gut-styled fanny pack is all you’re going to need going forwards.

Truly, an item that is a fit for all body types, although if you yourself are supporting a little bit of a healthy gut, it is worth noting that you may get confused after long wears and begin searching for the zipper upon your real body, as well as the occasional fever dream about unzipping yourself and storing keepsakes as a human evolved form of kangaroo.

While it’s not guaranteed, I’d say there are likely some security benefits to these bad boys as well, primarily, no one is really going to want to stick their slimy little fingers into your hairy-looking gut pack.

If these stomach fanny packs existed in middle earth, it’s safe to say that the ring would have been delivered to Mordor with ease and comfort, because no amount of evil, even that of Sauron’s, could escape the all-powerful walls of this cursed item.

Some people like the idea of hiding their cuts and gashes, covering up the open wound with some skin-colored bandage that keeps it nice, hidden & clean… this product is not for those people.

Bacon Bandages are an instant conversation starter, you can imagine pretty clearly how it goes in your head.

“Is that bacon on your knee?”
“Yes, yes it is.”

After a few days of these bad boys, you’ll wonder why they even sell the other (unbaconated? unbaconized?) covers, and every time you hear the sizzle, or sniff the sweet yet scent of bacon cooking your bones will ache with the ghosts of injuries past.

Does the idea of spreading chia seeds over a smiling ceramic mold of one of the world’s favorite painters make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Then look no further than this particularly creepy chia Bob Ross Planter.

In no time you’ll be trimming the lively scented afro, sculpting bob’s beautiful green perm into shapes and sizes you always dreamed of. Mowhawk? Yes. Buzz Cut? Yes! Classic Karen do? You know it!

Watching this beauty grow will ease your soul, all the spirit of Bob Ross will be watching down from the heavens as the creepy brown kiln-cooked clay smiles out with the frothy hair of small yet happy trees.

Perfect for dads on the go, this dehydrated water is the ultimate party pleaser, and to get it going you only really need to follow one single step!

1. Add Water
2. There is no 2, you’re done!

That’s it! Now you’re ready to enjoy your water, fully hydrated and ready to go. Great for desert hikes, long runs on the beach, and taking the ring to Mordor.

If you need any more convincing you can take a look at the amazing testimonials, but without question, this will remain in your family for generations to come.

If you dream of a partner with washboard abs, but can’t find any at the wallmart you’re shopping at then you may be the kind of person that could benefit from growing your own.

Not only are self grown boyfriends nicer than the store bought (honestly, who really knows what chemicals they grow them with) you also have the full self satisfaction of having put in the hours, as well as your own water, to help them grow.

Now while there’s no promose that your homegrown boyfriend will stay large for long, you’ll sleep easy knowing that after they’ve dehydrated it will be a quick trip to the bathroom for some water and you can enjoy the process all over again!

Handerpants are one of those once-in-a-lifetime ideas, something you can compare to the lightbulb, or automobile, something that makes so much sense you can only wonder “how didn’t I think of that” as well as “how will I ever live without these”

It goes without saying that underpants offer you all the comfort and support of regular underpants, and are completely unisex, with soft cotton and a washer/dryer safe elastic making sure they keep secure and clean.

You can also use these to complete the bucket list item on everyone’s list, that is, recreating the famous underpants scene from AMC hit Breaking Bad with your hands.