If you find yourself dressing up your animals then you’ve already taken the weird first step required. Now, take a look at the If you find yourself dressing up your animals then you’ve already taken the weird first step required.

If you find that your cat is subtly disrespecting you, and lets face it they definitely are, then it’s time to break out the inflatable unicorn horn for cats and have your say.

If you (or your cat) have ever dreamed of flying through the sky as a beautiful unicorn, with your horn reflecting the moonlight beautifully over the ocean, then again, the horn is the closest and the best real thing you’ll get in your waking hours.

Everybody poops, that’s a fact (is that a fact?).

One thing about pooping is that its an EXTREMELY solitary task, and when you start to think about it, you don’t have too much of a reference as to whether the way you do the deed is the same as how anyone else does said deed, well, this beautifully illustrated book solves that problem.

Another thing that really needs addressing here, is that books for the coffee table get all the attention and love, sure they’re on display for everyone, but as I have mentioned previously, what is one thing that everyone has in common? They poop. Sit this bad boy in your bathroom reading collection, next to the shampoo bottles and you’ll find your visitors will be leaving their phones behind while they take a quick trip to drop the kids off at the pool and learn a little about how the world does their deeds.

For those having trouble communicating to their beloved cat that they care for them so much that they’d put a large pink prosthetic tongue in their mouth, and strain their neck to do something a hand could do around fifteen to twenty times better.

That said, there is a small chance that the cat recognizes this a little more like licking, though my gut tells me they’ll chalk it down to another strange “human thing”, and take a little pity on you, perhaps bringing you in a grasshopper or mouse from outside.

There are no real reviews as to whether this also tastes like a large hunk of rubber, but for your own comfort, you can apply some peanut butter, making the grooming a win for both of you.

Here’s one hard fact:

1. There’s basically no situation in life that would not be better with a mullet

That is, mullets are without question the superior haircut, something to say cool and smart at the same time. Something that is a cornerstone of your personality and fashion sense, easily extended with a neat mustache or a pair of aviators. No haircut demands respect like a mullet, all business at the front and all party at the back.

So with that said, give the gift of a mullet, and you’ll see instant transformation and confidence and happiness that up until now could never be bought.

Every year that rolls around is a new opportunity to replace that boring “influential quotes” style calendar with something that will get everyone talking and everyone brooding with excitement as each month comes to an end. Then, as your whole family stays up to midnight you can collectively flip the calendar’s page to the new month and be reminded that yes, dogs, much like you, also poop.

If the look pooches vulnerably pooping isn’t enough, this is a fully functional calendar with many high-grade features, including but not limited to, the day of the month, the number of the day of the month, and a beautiful square that you can write events that can’t be forgotten, that weird uncles birthday, or when your next to call in the exterminator.

While some designers use traditional leather, some use crocodile leather, and some snake, the larger underappreciated leather in the world of fashion is definitely that of the humble toad.

Now it’s one thing to use leather from a toad, but another thing entirely to use the entire creature. In our case, and honestly, what I would consider the only humane case this is faux toad leather, but being fake as it is it doesn’t leave out any of the nitty-gritty pocks, warts, and imperfections that make it so beautiful.

One this is for certain though, if you take this toad out on the town you’ll be the talk of the streets and shops, and I’d almost go so far as to say you’ll be as far as possible of a target for anyone looking to shadily sneak-thief your purse away.

No, you didn’t turn yourself into a pickle, but you did the next best thing which is getting a wonderful yodeling pickle, keeping it in your pocket for the rest of your life, and learning the wonderful yodeling techniques that have been handed down pickle to pickle for generations.

After you’ve got one of these bad boys in your possession, you’ll never need to smash that like or subscribe button again, the only button that you’ll be interested in is the small green button that gets your pickle yodeling.

Soon or later you’ll be listening to yodeling tutorials and painting your face green and dreaming of that sweet pickling vinegar bath, and small jars growing dust in the root cellar.

Do you ever have a feeling that your house is just too nice, and you’re just too relaxed, and that maybe 8 to 9 hours of peaceful uninterrupted sleep is giving you too much of a positive excited attitude heading into the day, then the answer to these problems is clear, there just aren’t enough clowns on the walls of your house.

With just one small artwork you’ll find that people have an odd cold feeling as they enter your house, and that strange chill that crawls down your spine will become an hourly, if not minute-ly thing, this alone will save you on cooling in those hot summers.

You’ll also find that after you get just a single clown on your wall they may just naturally duplicate, and sooner (rather than later) you’ll be replacing pictures of your family, and relatives with more of these classy clowns.

By now you’ve probably completed all the projects in the wonderful “crafting with cat hair” and with it, your cat’s own hair supply is extremely depleted. While you wait for that hair to build up again you have a couple of choices, the first would be to get another cat the other though, is to begin a new cat-based journey, and I believe my friend, that dance is that journey.

You’ll need to start slow, limbering up those arms and legs of yours, and slowly advance into some of the more elaborate techniques often involving sheets and toy-esque elements to get your sweet kitties onto those back legs and into some incredible dance positions.

Sooner or later it’ll be kittie and the nutcracker performing in a theater near you, and roses of adulation will be filling your sweet sweet home.

Call “it” what you want, this game looks to be one of those “it’s so simple why didn’t I think of it” hits that will provide hours of laughter, and will appeal to anyone who likes the idea of throwing plush “dooties” at the head of your friends and family (the entire planet).

The rules for dooty head are a little abstract, though the goal is clear, if you’ve stuck a dooty (the word is starting to lose all meaning to me now) to your opponent’s cap, worn on the head, then you’re a point up. The box comes with 3 dooties, so you’re free to defend and attack much like a sticky version of dodgeball.

So with that, get your helmets on, grab a dooty, and remember to dip, duck, dodge, dive, and duck.

While we technically are giving and receiving this gift at any given moment, the special thing about this gift of nothing is its extremely professional wrapping, highlighting that while you are lucky to be getting a gift even a piece of coal would be nicer.

Truly this gift will be an instant hit in white elephants, as well as a great bonus for your top working employees (again, the wrapping is the key here)

It’s a little tricky to recommend this one, as you definitely have all the ingredients at home to give this as a gift, but then again the art direction and effort into mass producing these, as well as the obvious irony is quite beautiful.

Are you an adventurous traveler looking to make the leap from the page to the jungle… if so, this book is without a doubt for you?

“Learning to play with lion’s testicles” eloquently combines both the internal and external challenges the author faces, be it elephants, torrential storms, or the guilt and recovery of a lost loved one.

Honestly, the title here is all cheek. Playing with a lion’s testicles, of course, referring to a foolhardy task. That said, there’s nothing foolhardy about digging into a new book.