🤷‍♂️ or 🤷‍♀️

Weird or Confusing

Oddities, Pranks, and a few things that make noooo sense

Gift of Nothing

Prewrapped, so you don't have to!

While we technically are giving and receiving this gift at any given moment, the special thing about this gift of nothing is its extremely professional wrapping, highlighting that while you are lucky to be getting a gift even a piece of coal would be nicer.

Truly this gift will be an instant hit in white elephants, as well as a great bonus for your top working employees (again, the wrapping is the key here)

It’s a little tricky to recommend this one, as you definitely have all the ingredients at home to give this as a gift, but then again the art direction and effort into mass producing these, as well as the obvious irony is quite beautiful.

Gift of Nothing on Amazon

Grow a Boyfriend

Break out the Pina Coladas and get caught in the rain

If you dream of a partner with washboard abs, but can’t find any at the wallmart you’re shopping at then you may be the kind of person that could benefit from growing your own.

Not only are self grown boyfriends nicer than the store bought (honestly, who really knows what chemicals they grow them with) you also have the full self satisfaction of having put in the hours, as well as your own water, to help them grow.

Now while there’s no promose that your homegrown boyfriend will stay large for long, you’ll sleep easy knowing that after they’ve dehydrated it will be a quick trip to the bathroom for some water and you can enjoy the process all over again!

Grow a Boyfriend on Amazon

Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles

Without a doubt, this book is required to complete any bookshelf

Are you an adventurous traveler looking to make the leap from the page to the jungle… if so, this book is without a doubt for you?

“Learning to play with lion’s testicles” eloquently combines both the internal and external challenges the author faces, be it elephants, torrential storms, or the guilt and recovery of a lost loved one.

Honestly, the title here is all cheek. Playing with a lion’s testicles, of course, referring to a foolhardy task. That said, there’s nothing foolhardy about digging into a new book.

To Play With a Lion's on Amazon

Mullet on the go

No, not the fish... though that would also be useful

Here’s one hard fact:

  1. There’s basically no situation in life that would not be better with a mullet

That is, mullets are without question the superior haircut, something to say cool and smart at the same time. Something that is a cornerstone of your personality and fashion sense, easily extended with a neat mustache or a pair of aviators. No haircut demands respect like a mullet, all business at the front and all party at the back.

So with that said, give the gift of a mullet, and you’ll see instant transformation and confidence and happiness that up until now could never be bought.

Mullet on the go on Amazon

Subtle Butts

The perfect passive aggressive gift, or is it just aggressive aggressive?

While the word subtle is thrown around a lot, with “subtle butts” you can give the not-so-subtle gift of fresh air to your family at the next gathering, or the also not-so-subtle signal to your “funny uncle” that he’s got a problem and also that he’s not allowed any more beans.

All things considered, I’m a little afraid to fart into one of these bad boys and confirm fully that it neutralizes all that it says it neutralizes, so I’m open to any feedback as to the efficacy here. I do get the impression that they’re more than a square of fabric, evilly cut and marketed to those struggling with the all too real problem of less-than-subtle butts.

Subtle Butts on Amazon

Cat Sitter VHS

Break out the VHS baby, we're getting lit tonight!

Yes the quality is fuzzy, yes the tape can catch, and yes you can’t pause the picture without a fuzz of lines making it very difficult to see the screen, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing that brings on the nostalgia quite like a wild night with the VHS blaring.

Now that we’ve addressed the homey quality of VHS we can get into the real meat of the review, and that’s how much your cats will be enthralled by over an hour of uninterrupted squirrel & bird action along with the sound quality that only a video can bring.

So picture this, it is a Friday night, and you think it might be nice to run out for a quick pizza but “oh no!” you’re cats are here and the neighbor’s cat is sleeping over the night, welp, dust off the VHS, slap on this bad boi, and you’ve bought yourself some sweet sweet time. Just remember to rewind when you’ve finished it, lest you spoil the show next time!

Cat Sitter VHS on Amazon

Crafting with Cat Hair

Embrace your inner crazy cat person

You could covet cashmere, fine Marino wool, or beautiful soft mink, but with this book, your eyes will be opened to the wonderful world of your cat’s own hair. And I don’t mean the hair that covers every piece of your regular clothes, no no, with this you’ll start to think bigger, muuuuch bigger.

BUT, before we think bigger we have to remember that every Versace in the world (even the cat hair kind) has to start small, and in this case that means harvesting, and binding together your lovely kittens shedding hair. From there, Crafting With Cat Hair will guide you through small finger puppets up to bigger and better things, opening the world to your new cat hair adorned future!

Crafting with Cat Hair on Amazon

Unicorn Meat

Meats back on the menu boys...

Sushhh the little vegetarian angel on your shoulder, unicorn meat is here to stay, 100% natural 100% rainbows, and 100% sparkling beauty into this fantastic, stackable, doomsday prepper-approved cans, that may hold unicorn, or what my light research has told me, may hold some kind of weighty can filler.

With a shifty USDA “rating”, graded under the “mentally alert supervision”, this prank can has it all, and while there are no promises that you won’t be able to resist whipping out the can opener and cutting it open out of curiosity (it did kill the cat), or out of primal hunger at 2am one thing is for sure, this can sit beautifully at the back of your cupboard amongst the beans, collecting some slight rust, and waiting for its moment in the sunshine!

Unicorn Meat on Amazon