🤷‍♂️ or 🤷‍♀️

Weird or Confusing

Oddities, Pranks, and a few things that make noooo sense

Never Ending Happy Birthday Card

Annoying tunes AND glitter, just about as evil as it comes

This birthday card definitely falls into the #1 smart and evil ideas on this site, there are a few well-thought-out features that make it as elaborate as it is. In fact, I can give you a very clear play-by-play of how this goes.

  1. Gift the card, and everyone is happy
  2. Someone presses the button, which behind a painful never-ending tune
  3. Everyone starts to go insane, trying to hide said card
  4. Someone gets the smart idea to rip open the card to pull out the battery
  5. Glitter and confetti everywhere
  6. Friendship over, everyone is sad

Now that’s said, you can go into the idea of gifting this card with the entire 1 possible scenario completely drawn out and clear in your head. Honestly more much needs to be said.

Never Ending Happy Birthday Card on Amazon

Nose Aerobics

Is this for you eyes, your nose, or your neck? Well there's only one way to find out

Want to look cool and strong in front of your family or co-workers, then dedicating most of your waking hours to Play Visions Nose Aerobics is the fastest path. Soon you’ll be swinging that muscular neck, flicking that smooth-skinned nose back and forth, and swishing that small orange ball, all net, every time.

Now the word on the street in these bad boys are discontinued, and we can only really assume that some key component has been mined to extinction, and there can’t be any more made.

And as a final note, and I do feel that this needs to be said, you do not need a description to wear these, they are not produced by Warby Parker, and there are no lenses… that said, I guess if you do have a prescription you won’t be able to wear these over your glasses, so you might have to break out the contacts and get hooping!

Nose Aerobics on Amazon

Subtle Butts

The perfect passive aggressive gift, or is it just aggressive aggressive?

While the word subtle is thrown around a lot, with “subtle butts” you can give the not-so-subtle gift of fresh air to your family at the next gathering, or the also not-so-subtle signal to your “funny uncle” that he’s got a problem and also that he’s not allowed any more beans.

All things considered, I’m a little afraid to fart into one of these bad boys and confirm fully that it neutralizes all that it says it neutralizes, so I’m open to any feedback as to the efficacy here. I do get the impression that they’re more than a square of fabric, evilly cut and marketed to those struggling with the all too real problem of less-than-subtle butts.

Subtle Butts on Amazon

The Roto Wipe

If you're anything like me, you'll be upset that this was only the box

While again I feel the need to add the secondary disclaimer that this is only THE BOX for the roto wipe, I can’t help but feel complete wonder for this design, and a larger curiosity as to why it hasn’t been picked up and created in the real world.

No one will deny that with alleged 2700 RPMs, this roto wipe would not only clean your privates but if anything, would take along anything it touches into the watery depths of your plumbing.

With inflation soaring as it is today and the ever-increasing price of household goods, toilet paper inclusive, you really would be asking yourself, can I live without a roto wipe?

The Roto Wipe on Amazon

Cat Sitter VHS

Break out the VHS baby, we're getting lit tonight!

Yes the quality is fuzzy, yes the tape can catch, and yes you can’t pause the picture without a fuzz of lines making it very difficult to see the screen, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing that brings on the nostalgia quite like a wild night with the VHS blaring.

Now that we’ve addressed the homey quality of VHS we can get into the real meat of the review, and that’s how much your cats will be enthralled by over an hour of uninterrupted squirrel & bird action along with the sound quality that only a video can bring.

So picture this, it is a Friday night, and you think it might be nice to run out for a quick pizza but “oh no!” you’re cats are here and the neighbor’s cat is sleeping over the night, welp, dust off the VHS, slap on this bad boi, and you’ve bought yourself some sweet sweet time. Just remember to rewind when you’ve finished it, lest you spoil the show next time!

Cat Sitter VHS on Amazon

Crafting with Cat Hair

Embrace your inner crazy cat person

You could covet cashmere, fine Marino wool, or beautiful soft mink, but with this book, your eyes will be opened to the wonderful world of your cat’s own hair. And I don’t mean the hair that covers every piece of your regular clothes, no no, with this you’ll start to think bigger, muuuuch bigger.

BUT, before we think bigger we have to remember that every Versace in the world (even the cat hair kind) has to start small, and in this case that means harvesting, and binding together your lovely kittens shedding hair. From there, Crafting With Cat Hair will guide you through small finger puppets up to bigger and better things, opening the world to your new cat hair adorned future!

Crafting with Cat Hair on Amazon

Unicorn Meat

Meats back on the menu boys...

Sushhh the little vegetarian angel on your shoulder, unicorn meat is here to stay, 100% natural 100% rainbows, and 100% sparkling beauty into this fantastic, stackable, doomsday prepper-approved cans, that may hold unicorn, or what my light research has told me, may hold some kind of weighty can filler.

With a shifty USDA “rating”, graded under the “mentally alert supervision”, this prank can has it all, and while there are no promises that you won’t be able to resist whipping out the can opener and cutting it open out of curiosity (it did kill the cat), or out of primal hunger at 2am one thing is for sure, this can sit beautifully at the back of your cupboard amongst the beans, collecting some slight rust, and waiting for its moment in the sunshine!

Unicorn Meat on Amazon